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lately all i’ve wanted to do is be creative and make things. but somehow, i can’t figure out what or how to do it. like i can’t quite put my finger on what i really feel like doing. this is beyond frustrating for me. beyond. and you know what else? i realllllly want to write. like i have this urge every minute of the day to just start writing. but somewhere between my head and hands it gets stuck. i was tempted to starting writing on a piece of notebook paper in class today but it just wouldn’t come. not to mention, i love my class and actually enjoy paying attention so i didn’t want to lose focus. so yeah, school is great. my professor is amazing and i’m learning more than i imagined in just 4 short days. suddenly, i’m in love with being a student…that’s basically a first for me. i’m probably going to work next week after class because there’s really no out-of-class work to do that i was anticipating. i mean, yes, i have a few assignments, but it is no way what i was expecting. i now dread more than ever going back to my cubicle. it’s been nice to just be away from the office even though i feel like i’m a slacker in the afternoons taking it easy. this whole “off time” started on friday when we traveled our little booties to mulbery mountain for the wakarusa music festival in arkansas. it was mostly hell to say the least. maybe that’s an overstatement. but really in all actuality, us 4 girls thought of ourselves as pretty durable and as non-prissy as they come. somewhere along the way, we completely gave up our aspirations to survive and found ourselves ready to leave after the mumford and son’s show was over (which was the whole reason we were there in the first place). after calculating our expenses of camping, gas, and food, janelle described it as this:
“Seeing a plethora of pot, sleeping on a bed of rocks, seeing airbrushed boobs, smelling body odor and pot together, eating lunch while holding electric fans to our faces, being asked to participate in extracurricular activities, seeing Mumford and Sons rock the house= PRICELESS.”
i think that mostly summed it up. yes, there was pot everywhere. we may have even gotten second-hand-high…i’m not sure? and sleeping was well, we were lucky if got 3 hours all together. i think what most struck me was how dark this place felt. the sun was blazing but people were almost like skeletons. dead men walking. there were 25,000 people and yet i felt that all of the life was sucked out of this place. there was no hope, no meaning, just people escaping reality in far away places in their minds. i didn’t mind the camping, and i didn’t mind roughing it without real bathrooms or showers. i tolerated the 97+ heat, but it was the atmosphere that was choking me nearly to death. i don’t think i’ll be going back anytime in the future years to come. but hey, i got to see mumsy boys place one heck of a show. i’m still in awe of how they lasted for an hour and a half performance in the scorching heat.
the plus to coming home early was that i was able to go to church at the chaifezt arena. i was so unbelievably sad to have to miss this event, but i guess god wanted me there. i was on the verge of tears almost throughout the entire service. i was thankful the weekend turned out the way it did. and oh so thankful for a bed.
so now this leaves me back at square one. what in the world should i start creating…?
