a thousand
it has been raining all day long and it sounds just beautiful outside my window. it’s one of the most comforting sounds to me. it makes me think a lot too. i’ve been thinking a lot about the lost. my heart breaks and i wonder, why me? why would god choose me? and then i think of all the people who can’t ask this same question and i am so overwhelmed with sorrow. and sometimes i don’t know what to do with that. i also don’t know what to do about this huge and gaping desire to be abroad. i want to travel and see the world so much. there’s so much more out there (including my future husband, i am sure) and i just don’t know how to make that happen. maybe something with school will lead to this. i can hope, right? and speaking of school- i really love it a lot. i feel like after being only 4 weeks in i’ve learned quite a lot. my professors are all pretty lovely people, very passionate about their profession and their need for helping the world around them. i’m glad for that. i’m also glad for a very unexpected raise at my job. it could make or break the potential of me being able to move out on my own sometime in the near future, finally. it’s taken so long and i feel like a child for having to live here still but i guess it’s for a reason, huh? sometimes i get sad though for my little brother and not having any siblings left to hang out with, but i guess that’s just the way life goes. life always goes. it’s funny how it doesn’t stop for not even one second to give you a chance to catch your breath. that’s ok though, i’m still breathing, right? i’ve got air in my lungs and a thousand other things i take for granted. and i know there are a thousand other things i could write about but my brain is stopping me from doing so…
